Gussie has had it with this nonsense.
It’s Saturday morning in Casa Grande, Arizona. Gussie is under the bed and he won’t come out.
Usually he comes out in the middle of the night and climbs up on the bed with me and my mom.
Not last night.
It began yesterday when he climbed out of his crate in the back seat (we keep the door open) and pooped in the litter box. He’s about as clean as the Downton Abbey dowager and saves the stinky stuff for the hotel room, but no longer.
He balanced himself on his tiny backseat litter box as we rocketed down the highway and relieved himself.
“We need to get that out of here,” Jim said.
“There’s not a rest stop for 30 miles,” I said.
We rolled down a few windows and coughed while Gussie settled back on his blanket in his crate, looking oddly pleased with himself.
We checked into our hotel in Casa Grande and Gussie shot under the bed immediately.
The night went as it usually does on the road trip, with two of us going out for dinner and bringing the Gussie sitter dinner in a doggie bag.
No Gussie. His water, litter box and food were untouched. His new home was under the bed.
My mom and I watched “Say Yes to the Dress” while Jim hid in the other room (we got a suite so he got a man cave and was not subjected to our fashion commentary for the evening.)
We went to bed, dimmed the lights, and waited for Gussie to join us.
But he was NEVER coming out from under the bed.
In the middle of the night, my mom saw him trying to crawl into the toilet. He had plenty of water, so we figure he was looking for a water route out of here.
We woke up this morning to find his dry food strewn all over the floor and his litter box plastic liner shredded.
We decided to pull out the big guns.
“Use the tuna,” my mom said, with a solemn nod.
We peeled off the foil from his tuna and placed it by the bed. Nothing.
We all began to pack and get ready. The tuna sat untouched.
Then, when all our backs were turned, Gussie poked his nose out. Then half of a head and ears. He glared at us. Was this a trick?
We all acted like we didn’t see him and he inched out from under his bunker, but only half of him, and began devouring his tuna.
He’s back under the the bed now and we are drawing straws to see who has to crawl under there and get him.
And then it’s off to Palm Springs…with a lot of long, open road ahead of us..and to0 few rest stops.